Monday, December 8, 2008

Devastation in a loss

There's a woman I know who is more than an acquaintance but not quite a friend and she has just lost her 4 year old son. Not only that, but her oldest son is going through extensive surgery to repair his shin bone which is poking it's way out of his leg. This woman who I rarely hang out with is going through such a devastating loss that I can't help but feel close to her and devastated with her. I'm sitting at my computer after being in a daze for the last 3 hours and I can barely keep from crying as I try to imagine her pain. I'm just sickened by the absolute uselessness of it.

Her family was in a car accident yesterday and their lives have changed forever. I can't think of what to write except that I wanted to share her pain. I want other mothers to mourn with us and maybe that will help comfort this poor woman a tiny bit. No mother should ever lose her child. We are the ones that should go first.

This makes me afraid to drive my car. How safe is safe enough? How careful is careful enough? And it's not just me. I have to trust everyone else to be careful as well. I don't know the details of the accident; I just know that a few miles from his home, a child's life was taken. How does someone live with that? When you're driving drunk or texting, you are putting every one's life around you in danger. How do I make people understand that it's not just yourself that you are affecting? All it takes is a second. One second and you alter so many peoples existence. I know that I could never live with taking another persons life. Accidental or not. I know I could not live with any of my children being taken from me. I would continue to be strong of course for the sake of my other kids, but I would not be the same person. My smile would not be the heart would not be the same.

I hope that we all remember to be safe as we drive this holiday season and every day after that. Make sure that carseats are properly installed. Always use a designated driver even if you're only having a glass of heart healthy wine. Or at lease give it a good 2 hours (per drink) to work through your system before driving. Keep a safe distance behind the car in front of you by using the 3 second rule. It may not be only your life that you save.

Please kiss your children today. Treasure every moment with them. And please keep this woman in your hearts and send her good thoughts as she tries to heal her family.


  1. I don't think you have to be a mother to feel the tremendous heartbreak this family is experiencing. It does tear right through me to imagine the pain this mother, her family, and her community, must be feeling. So sad to read about this.

  2. This comment was posted on my Facebook page in response to this entry:

    "As a father to be soon, I have recently found the fear that you speak of. The fear that something so precious to me may some how, for no good reason be taken from me.
    It is a fear I am sure will only become more apparent after I meet my child for the first time and it is a fear that might very well nag me as long as I am alive and a father.

    So for, the only antidote in my psyche to counter this fear is the commitment to love my child unabashedly as long as I am alive and to do so as much as I can to those around me.

    Thank you for the reminder of how precious my (our) loved ones are and how fragile our lives can instantly become.
    I am sending whatever love I can to this stranger in pain and I hope that she finds healing in the greatest way possible. "