15 Months and Counting

I attended my local La Leche League meeting the other night and the topic was weaning. It occurred to me that Jesse is almost 16 months old, the age at which Olivia was weaned. I would have nursed her longer if it hadn't been for some medical issues. When she was Jesse's age, she was sleeping through the night and didn't nurse too often during the day. I think she was only nursing before her nap and bedtime, so I didn't feel too bad about weaning her. First I cut out the before-nap nursing. I held her, hugged her, and kissed her, then put her to bed while Mr. Bear (her wind-up teddy) played "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star." Sometimes I had to go back in the bedroom and wind him up again.

(I have to interject something here. One day trajedy struck - Mr. Bear died. I searched all over for another bear like him, but to no avail. I finally settled on a pink rabbit with a pull cord. Have they quit making them?)

After a week or two, I started working on the before-bed nursing. I enlisted my husband's help with this. He would put Olivia in bed and play his guitar. They both enjoyed it. After a couple of weeks with this routine, she would go to sleep with just the rabbit playing music.

Jesse still gets up at least twice each night to snack and loves to nurse during the day. I don't foresee weaning in our near future! If only he would sleep through the night...

To Wean or Not to Wean

My daughter is almost 8 months old and we're already getting asked when we're going to stop nursing. Not only do I find this slightly offensive as most people wouldn't ask the mom of an 8 month old formula baby when they're going to stop giving them a bottle, but since I'm already counting down the days to when I can wean...well it makes me feel like a bad mom that I want to wean her, but I get my gander up when someone asks me that and makes me want to nurse her until she's 5.

I love nursing my children. I love that I provide their nourishment and I contribute to their mental well being because they know that they can count on me when they cry and need comforting. I love that they prefer me to anyone else and I think a lot of that is the fact that I nurse. I love that all three of my children would not take a bottle and two of them wouldn't/won't take a pacifier. Yes, not taking a paci is a little hard on us, but I love that I'm their number one comfort measure. I love the look of their little baby hands on my breast. I love looking into their eyes and I love seeing their eyes close as they fall asleep from nursing. I love the booby milk drunk look. You know the look I'm talking about!

I don't love my grandmotherly nursing bras. Yes, they have sexy ones, but I can't justify the cost of them. I don't love having to wear nursing pads all the time because sometimes they wrinkle or get pointy and make my breasts look funny in my shirts. I don't like leaking all over the place. I am embarrassed that one breast is significantly bigger than my other because my baby has a favorite side. No matter how often I nurse her on the smaller one, it just won't get bigger to match her favorite! I don't like that I forget to weigh myself after I nurse and my weight can fluctuate 4 lbs up or down depending on if I remembered to empty my breasts before stepping on the dreaded scale.

There are several more pros to cons when it comes to nursing my children. The cost comparison, the bond, the health benefits...I could go on and on about the benefits of breastfeeding your infants. But the honest truth for me is that I don't like being touched and having a person hanging off my breast for several hours every day for at least a year sometimes makes me cry. I am in bliss the first few months...then acceptance the next few months...and then the fidgets come on. I am starting to get those fidgets. I cannot wait for her to finish eating. I just would like to not be touched on a very sensitive part of my body for a few hours. My baby hits 9 or 10 months and I literally have to sit on my hands so I don't take them off before they're done eating because I get so overwhelmed with the sensory overload. They start to want to play and giggle and touch things and pull hair and crawl around...all while they're nursing. So I start to count down the months, weeks, and days until their first birthday and I can feel like I did my duty and can then take it day by day as to whether we will continue to nurse. I see these moms that nurse until their children are two or even older and I'm so jealous and proud of them! How wonderful for both of them that they still nurse! I hope everyday that I can make it that long. I want to make it that long, but the longest I've done is 13 1/2 months. I think I could have done longer if I wasn't pregnant again and sensitive, but I couldn't handle the touch overload. I want to just make it to her 2 year birthday. I would be so proud of myself if I nursed her that long. So, until then keep your fingers crossed for me that I can make it to 13 months and then 18 and then 24 months. And be proud of yourselves for everyday that you nursed your baby. Even if it's only for a few days. Every day of nursing is a gift to you and your baby and every drop is precious.