Monday, February 15, 2010

Motherhood Olympics

With the Winter Olympics in progress, I've been thinking about some new events for 2014. Here are my thoughts so far...

Diaper Derby
In the qualifying round, each mother must change a dirty diaper. Points will be awarded for cleanliness, form, and speed (timing will begin when the mother picks up the child and will end when the child is fully dressed). Points will be deducted if the diaper is put on backwards and/or not securely fastened. The top 10 mothers will advance to the final round.

In the final round, mothers will change diapers in the back seat of a car. Points will be awarded as described in the qualifying round.

Each mother will attempt to settle a fight between siblings over a toy. Points will be awarded for speed and originality.

Tandem Feeding
Each mother will feed a baby while eating her own lunch. Points will be awarded for speed and accuracy. Points will be deducted for putting utensils in the wrong mouth.

Grocery Shopping
Each mother will be given a grocery list and two children. One child will be between the ages of 18 and 24 months, the other between the ages of 4 and 7 years. Points will be awarded for speed and accuracy. Points will be deducted for purchasing items not on the list. Mothers can earn bonus points by returning plastic bags to be recycled or by bringing reusable bags.

Do you think the International Olympic Committee would be interested?


  1. I think those are fine sports. I would add a few things like;
    Diaper Derby: it must be a loaded, stinky one. Once advanced, they must have a toddler, who won't stay still & refuses to lay down :P

    Tug of War: it must be a breakable item that actually breaks. This way the mother can console the children for bonus points. (I'm just cruel....but it's a hard world out there)

    Tandem Feeding: must be super hot food. This way it adds some challenge of blowing on the hot food & remember to feed baby, only baby food.

    Grocery Shopping: Bonus points for children identifying grocery list items & actually participating as team efforts. Advancement to next round if nothing drops on the floor.

    Mommy Olympic prizes should be spa packages, medallion key chains, & a personal shopper for a year. I could think of greater prizes but this is all that comes to a tired mind

  2. Great ideas! Maybe they'll let us be coordinators and, as such, fly us around the globe looking for an appropriate venue.