The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

Motherhood is an interesting journey, to say the least. I don't think anything prepares you for it. There are moments you hope you'll never forget and some you wish you could. Here are a few of mine.

(I've been saving this idea, so these stories happened a while ago but they're still funny...now.)

The good...

There are so many things I could write here. That soft, downy head. Little fingers wrapped around one of yours. A toothless grin. A little head on your shoulder. Hearing a sweet voice call you "Mama."

The bad...

One night Jesse woke up crying. I snuck into the bedroom, groped around in the dark, and plucked him from his bed. I hugged him up to me and slipped my left arm under his bottom to support him. To my surprise I felt warm, soft flesh. I cried "Jesse! Where's your diaper?!" His diaper was in his bed, nice and dry, so I put it back on him. Then I put some shorts on him (I'm a fast learner) and ran back to the living room to fetch hubby. I nursed Jesse while hubby stripped the bed. After Jesse went back to sleep, I pulled the rug out of the bedroom so I could work on the puddle.

The ugly...

I heard Jesse wake up from his nap one day and went to get him. I walked into the bedroom and discovered Jesse had been face painting. We don't have any face paints. I'll leave it at that.

Motherhood Olympics

With the Winter Olympics in progress, I've been thinking about some new events for 2014. Here are my thoughts so far...

Diaper Derby
In the qualifying round, each mother must change a dirty diaper. Points will be awarded for cleanliness, form, and speed (timing will begin when the mother picks up the child and will end when the child is fully dressed). Points will be deducted if the diaper is put on backwards and/or not securely fastened. The top 10 mothers will advance to the final round.

In the final round, mothers will change diapers in the back seat of a car. Points will be awarded as described in the qualifying round.


Tug-of-War
Each mother will attempt to settle a fight between siblings over a toy. Points will be awarded for speed and originality.


Tandem Feeding
Each mother will feed a baby while eating her own lunch. Points will be awarded for speed and accuracy. Points will be deducted for putting utensils in the wrong mouth.


Grocery Shopping
Each mother will be given a grocery list and two children. One child will be between the ages of 18 and 24 months, the other between the ages of 4 and 7 years. Points will be awarded for speed and accuracy. Points will be deducted for purchasing items not on the list. Mothers can earn bonus points by returning plastic bags to be recycled or by bringing reusable bags.

Do you think the International Olympic Committee would be interested?

Topsy-Turvy Tomatoes

Have you ever tried growing tomatoes upside-down? I haven't. I saw pictures years ago of hanging tomato plants, but it wasn't until last week that I gave them another thought. My husband's uncle said he was thinking about growing his tomatoes upside-down this year but didn't know how to keep them in their pots. He doesn't have internet access so I did a little research for him.

People seem to like growing them in 5-gallon paint buckets with handles. Drill a hole about 2 1/2 inches in diameter in the bottom of the bucket. Set the bucket, right side up, on something so as not to cover the hole. Gently insert your seedling into the hole so that about 2 inches of stem is protruding from the bottom. While holding the plant in one hand, pack material around the plant to keep it from falling out - something like newspapers, coffee filters, or sphagnum moss. Continue to hold the plant while you add soil to the bucket. Add enough soil to cover the roots by about 2 inches, then add about 2 cups of compost, then fill the bucket with soil to within an inch of the top. Hang your bucket on something STURDY and water thoroughly. If the soil settles to more than a couple inches from the top, add a little more soil.

Water and add fertilizer to the top of the bucket. Keeping a lid (sitting loosely) on the top will help prevent moisture loss, but must be removed every time you water your plants. Some people grow herbs in the tops of their buckets. Check the soil level every few weeks and add more if the level has dropped much.

I don't think I'll try growing my tomatoes this way this year, but I may try it sometime. If you've tried it, I'd love to hear from you. How well did it work for you? Did it work better than growing your plants in the ground?

WalMart Woes

This evening I was at WalMart. As always, I had my reusable shopping bags with me. I've never had anyone give me trouble about them...until today. Naturally my bags were buried underneath my purchases, so I unloaded a few things onto the conveyor belt to get to them, telling the cashier that I had brought my own bags. Meanwhile, she's swiping stuff and putting it in plastic bags. Grrr!

I bought several bath towels and she said "I can't bag these. It'll take too long." Huh?! Fold them in half and stick them in the bag! So I did it myself. She likes the plastic bags because they're already hanging on the little racks for her. She was also counting the minutes (13, to be exact) until she got off work and lamenting the fact she was called in from the garden section to check out customers.

WalMart has huge boxes as you walk in the store for recycling plastic bags. They sell reusable bags. They were also (and may still be) giving you a free reusable bag with goodies if they failed to ask you whether you wanted to apply for a WalMart credit card. So why the attitude?

Sorry...I just had to vent :)